May 27th: The first feeding.

I mentioned I was lazy, right?

Feeding the garden is a requirement of this blog —nay, the sole purpose of this blog!— so I best get to it.  How hard can it be, right?

Okay, so let’s look at the competitors:

On the left, wearing the green and yellow trunks— MiracleGro! 

And on the right, in white trunks with fruits on them— Better World Plant Food!

Now, I have to confess to being a typical male. I avoid asking for directions, and rarely, if ever, read assembly instructions. Duct-tape works on everything.  But in the interest of science, I’ll glance at the usage directions for both. 

Hmmmm...... 

Okay, ummmm.... 

Miracle Gro: I’m using this outdoors on vegetables... but they’re in a container box, something like a houseplant. And too much will burn the plants.  No point in killing the experiment too early. Okay... I'll go with the milder blend.

It mixes up easily with water. The blue crystals remind me of the Copper Sulphate I used to play with as a kid. (Do parents still allow 7 yr olds to play with chemistry sets today, or would Child's Aid be called in?) Mixed with water, it’s a pretty tint of light blue, kinda like windshield washer fluid. And probably just as toxic. 

What I don’t do for my readers....

And now the Better World: 

Better World Plant Food gives me two options. I can just toss it on top of the soil and then water the plant normally. That appeals to The Lazy Gardener's Creed. (Rule One: do as little work as possible). But, since the Miracle Gro was mixed with water, I should  follow option two for Better World.  

Let’s see....Mix with water, wait 8 hours!? Wow! This stuff even caters to The Lazy Gardener's Creed, Rule Two: Whenever possible, procrastinate. 

Ten hours later.... 

The Better World Plant Food mixes up to a pale brown fluid, something like the Don River in August, but smells much better. Actually, it’s pretty much odourless. Trust me, with a schnoze my size, you notice odours.  

Not wanting to contaminate my watering can (which might skew results), I add both fluids directly from their individual mixing containers to their respective planters. 

No pictures. Use your imagination. It’s not like the plants suddenly started dancing or anything. But if they do, I’ll be sure to post the video here. 

I might as well add the starting measurements of the various plants here. 

Because size matters to Real Men:

                            MiracleGro Box           Better World Box

• Raspberry                  15.5 in                        13 in

• Basil                           10.0                           10.0

• Tomato                        6.0                             6.0

• Marigold                       5.0                             5.0

Please note, I couldn’t find two raspberry bushes of equal height. These are the starting measurements.